My Dad will let me out of the abyss if I issue 3 more commandments (I can make them up) on my blog, so here we go (Dad says Olde English, so just roll with it):
-Thou fhall not exposeth thy penis over thy ChatRoulette.com, nor thy Omegle.com.
-Thou fhall not eat thy "organic" peanuteth buttereth, for it is thou very yickyeth.
-Thou only fhall masturbate between the hours of, on thy 24-hour clocketh, 0:00 and 23:58. At least two minutes must be saved for cleaning thy semen. Sleep may be performed whenever thy wisheseth. Masturbation is not thy obligatory. Thy big words, loleth.
K, thx, bai.
EDIT: Fixed thy Holy typo, from 5 to 3.